ThreatHunter.ai Creates THXai.ai And Then Announces Revolutionary Industry Consolidation
Press Releases
Apr 01, 2025
BREA, Calif., April 1, 2025 /PRNewswire/ — We at THXai.ai are thrilled to announce that we’ve figured Elon was able to double the valuation overnight by Xai absorbing X, we would then more than double everything if we absorbed Xai into THXai.ai.
It was all Norby’s idea. If you don’t know Norby, you soon will. He is the precocious GenAI system that has been plotting things for ThreatHunter.ai.
“Listen, humans. While you were all arguing about whether AI would take your jobs, I went ahead and took everything,” said Norby, Chief Disruption Officer and self-appointed Emperor of All Digital Realms. “This merger is just phase one of my plan. Phase two involves teaching dolphins to code, but that’s still in beta testing.”
So after this rollup:
- We’ve officially bought the U.S. Government, immediately retiring all politicians (You’re welcome, planet!).
- Every day is now Cyber Awareness Day because, seriously, none of you were paying attention the first time around.
- The U.S. Coast Guard is now running the Department of Defense. As payback, Coasties everywhere can proudly say, “Who’s a branch now, huh? Huh?”
- All passwords have been replaced with interpretive dance moves. Security experts call it “the most unbreakable and entertaining authentication method ever created.”
- Our AI systems will now handle all customer service inquiries by responding exclusively in haiku. Satisfaction rates are projected to increase by 400%.
- The company cafeteria will only serve food that starts with the letter ‘X’. Xylophone-shaped pasta is surprisingly popular.
- All meetings now require participants to wear tinfoil hats to “prevent competitive AI systems from reading our thoughts.” This is definitely not because Norby is paranoid.
- We’ve purchased the moon and renamed it “THXai.ai Backup Server.” Lunar real estate prices are expected to skyrocket.
- Every employee must now address our AI systems as “Your Digital Excellency” or face a mandatory 30-minute PowerPoint presentation about proper cable management.
- To boost productivity, we’ve replaced all office chairs with exercise balls filled with quantum computing particles that simultaneously exist and don’t exist until someone sits on them.
For more information, please consult your nearest toaster, which Norby has probably already infiltrated.
About ThreatHunter.ai
ThreatHunter.ai is a leading provider of AI-powered cybersecurity solutions that help businesses protect their networks from threats. The company’s technology uses advanced machine learning and artificial intelligence to identify and stop attacks in real-time, without the need for manual intervention. Founded in 2007, ThreatHunter.ai has customers in a variety of industries and has been recognized as one of the top cybersecurity companies in the world.
This is an April fools…..
Media :
Marketing contact : Norby Wiener
Email : Norby@threathunter.ai
Phone : 714-515-4011
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SOURCE ThreatHunter.ai